


Adjustments

by Goldy



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Drama, F/M, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-08 19:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1952547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Goldy/pseuds/Goldy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose is back, but she finds that things are a bit more complicated than when she left. Post-S4 reunion fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adjustments

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to scornedsaint for the beta read.

Rose’s tea had long grown cold. Crumbs dotted the table, the only remains of what were once chocolate biscuits.

Donna and Martha sat across from her, studying her like she was an alien insect that just sprouted horns. Their own teas sat untouched.

Rose couldn’t escape the feeling that she’d been trotted out and put on display.

She shifted her gaze past them, eyes landing on the Doctor. He leaned back against the counter, arms folded across his chest. He looked like had no bloody clue how the four of them ended up in the kitchen. His new blue suit was rumpled and dirty and it made him seem unfamiliar, like a stranger.

She took a sip of cold tea, forestalling the inevitable. She set her cup down carefully, the china hitting the plate with a soft _cling_.

“So you travel with two women, do you?” She tried to cushion her words with a smile, but she knew she sounded jealous.

The Doctor had the sense to look sheepish, but Martha snapped back with, “Why? Would you rather he traveled alone?”

Rose blushed. “Of course not.”

This wasn’t going right at all.

“So how’d you do it, then?” Martha continued. “Get back to this world? The Doctor said it was impossible.”

“He says that a lot,” Rose pointed out. Her eyes flicked to the Doctor, and he hastily looked away. “It wasn’t that hard. The scientists at my Torchwood said the walls between worlds are always in flux—that they sort of contract and affect each other. You just need to know when and where to jump.”

“Sounds dangerous,” Donna said.

“It is,” the Doctor put in, pushing himself off the counter-top. “You could’ve ended up in any number of possible realities. You could have hurt yourself or ended up in pieces or worse.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t. I reckon I had a good reason to try.” Her voice cracked over the last word. She fought off a sudden wave of dizziness. “Besides, it’s a good thing I did, you being in trouble like you were.”

“She’s right about that,” Martha said, giving Rose her first genuine smile.

Rose felt like she’d won her first victory, small as it was. She could feel the Doctor’s gaze on her face—he’d barely looked away since they rescued him.

Another wave of dizziness slammed into her and she rose, shaking, to her feet. The Doctor took a few hesitant steps forward. His arms twitched uselessly at his sides, and then he folded them across his chest again.

“I think I’m gonna go lie down.” She moved forward and then stopped, meeting the Doctor’s eyes. “Is my room still…?”

“Untouched,” he said, voice sounding hoarse. “Looks exactly the same as when you left it.”

Donna and Martha swiveled their heads back and forth like they were watching a tennis match. Without bothering to drop her voice, Donna leaned closer to Martha and said, “Ten quid they’ll never get to the shagging.”

Rose’s cheeks burned. The Doctor barely seemed to notice them, his eyes never leaving her face.

“So I’m just gonna…” She fiddled with the loops on her jeans and tilted her head in the direction of the doorway. “I’m gonna go do that, then.”

The Doctor finally seemed to snap to attention. “You’re hurt.” And then he was in front of her, one of his hands coming up to test the bruise on the side of her jaw.

She drew in a breath at his touch, her eyes fluttering shut. She could sense Donna and Martha shifting forward to get a better view.

“I’m fine,” she managed. She stumbled over her words. She could barely even _think_ with him so close. “Just tired. I reckon traveling between parallel worlds really took it out of me.”

The Doctor stiffened and he drew his hand back. Rose fought down disappointment. She opened her eyes and found the Doctor rifling through his pockets. He emerged with the sonic screwdriver, emitting a victorious, “Aha!”

“Doctor, I really don’t think I—”

He silenced her with a fierce glare, his look betraying his worry. Next thing she knew, the sonic screwdriver was buzzing in her face and the Doctor hemmed and hawed.

“Right. Exactly as I expected.” The screwdriver snapped off. “Infirmary. Now.”

“But—”

“I’ve only just got you back,” the Doctor said fiercely. “And nothing is going to take you away again.”

Rose felt the hot blush come back to her cheeks. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yes.”

He grabbed her by the hand and dragged her from the kitchen. She could hear Donna and Martha whispering frantically behind them.

They made it about half way to the infirmary when the Doctor stopped, dropping her hand.

Rose felt a stab of fear. “What’s wrong?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he turned to face her, his eyes dark. Then he leaned in and kissed her.

Rose froze, almost too stunned to react. She pushed her surprise away and kissed him back, feeling like she might melt into him. God, she’d wanted to do that since she helped save his sodding life.

When he pulled away, Rose was satisfied to see his hair sticking up every which way and his mouth smudged and messy from her lipstick.

“Blimey,” he managed, touching one finger to his lips like he’d just had the best snog of his life. “Where’d you learn to—no, hang on, I don’t want to know. “ He grinned at her. “Hello.”

She grinned back. “Hello!” Then she blinked. “Weren’t we on the way to the infirmary?”

“Nah,” said the Doctor. “You’re perfectly fine. Just wanted a good excuse to get us out of there.” He shuddered. “I couldn’t very well snog you back in the kitchen, could I? Well, I _could_ , but—”

“No, better that you didn’t,” Rose said. She frowned. “I don’t think Martha likes me much.”

“What?” said the Doctor. “She thinks you’re fab!”

Rose winced. His voice went all high-pitched like it did when he was lying. Also, he’d said the word “fab.”

“What did you do?” Rose said suspiciously.

The Doctor’s happy grin faded. He suddenly looked older than she remembered. He dropped his voice. “I won’t be sorry for missing you,” he said. “That’s not fair.”

She stared at him. That wasn’t an answer. Of course, it wasn’t _not_ an answer either. She sighed and then nodded.

“I know the feeling.”

His smile came back, lighting up his entire face. He stepped forward and gathered her up in a hug. His voice whispered next to her ear, “That was an incredible thing you did, getting back here. A _stupid_ thing, but incredible all the same.”

Rose relished being scooped up in his arms. She would never let go of this again. Never.

“Of course I came back.” She squeezed him back as hard as she could. “The scientists at my Torchwood said something changed… that the walls between worlds were crumbling. That’s why I was able to come.”

“The Master,” the Doctor said solemnly.

“The who?” Rose said, but her words were obscured by a loud yawn.

The Doctor sent her an accusing stare. With what looked like great willpower, he took a step back. “Go on. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Promise?”

He nodded, and then scratched at the back of his neck. “We’ll talk later.”

She caught a flash of… something (guilt?) in his eyes, but she found herself fighting down another yawn. She really was knackered.

“Alright, then,” she said, trying for a smile. He reached out, fingers tracing the back of her hand before he pulled his arm back, giving a small smile and a tilt of his head.

She left him behind, telling herself to ignore how much sadness now seemed to lurk in his eyes.

*-*-*-*-*-*

Rose snuggled deeper into the covers, vaguely aware of the door slamming shut and the loud voice that followed it. It was far too warm and cozy to bother moving.

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name…” the bed jostled, springs creaking warningly. “Rose, did I tell you? I met Shakespeare!”

Rose turned on her side and tugged the blanket up to her neck. She moaned unintelligibly into the pillow. It couldn’t have been more than a few hours. Everything still felt worn and ragged—like she’d just worked the Christmas rush at Henrik’s.

“Nice bloke, Shakespeare. Not quite what I was expecting, mind you, but he certainly leaves a lasting impression.”

Rose buried her head under the pillow.

A finger jabbed her in the arm. Repeatedly. She mumbled “bugger off” into the pillow.

The Doctor ignored her. He stretched out next to her, lifting the edge of the pillow. “Rose,” he said, drawing out her name, “are you awake?”

Rose vaguely considered killing him. Except knowing the Doctor, he’d probably go and regenerate into someone even more annoying. Besides, she _had_ expended an awful lot of energy to get back to him.

She stared at the gap through the pillow. “Isn’t there someone else you can bother? Donna? Martha? Someone _not_ recovering from crossing between parallel worlds?”

The Doctor released the pillow and it fell back over Rose’s face, leaving her in blessed darkness. She sensed him shifting around next to her and then he dropped his voice.

“I missed you.”

Rose stilled, insides melting at his words. She poked her head up. “It’s only been a few hours.”

His eyes crinkled when he smiled at her. “Too long.”

She grinned back at him. How could she resist? The Doctor stretched out next to her, turning on his side so they could look into each other’s eyes.

She gave in. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” the Doctor said immediately. She raised her eyebrows and he shifted. “I just… just wanted to talk to you. _Tell_ you about….”

His voice trailed off, going quiet like it used to do before he told her something about the Time War.

“Doctor?”

He frowned and then flipped onto his back, staring at the ceiling. “The gap between universes hasn’t closed yet.”

Rose stared at him, completely lost. “Is that bad?”

“Well,” the Doctor began. “Not bad, no… certainly not normal, but it will seal itself up. Like stitching a wound.” He brooded over that analogy for a second, and then said, “Point is, there’s still time for you to go back. If you’d like.”

Rose sat up straighter, suddenly wide-awake. This _was_ serious, then. He wouldn’t suggest sending her back to the parallel world for anything else.

“What’s going on?” Rose whispered. “Why would I want to go back? You know how hard I worked to get back here.”

The Doctor didn’t respond. He kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

Rose cleared her throat and started again. “Doctor, why would I want to go back? Is it… do you not want me anymore?”

He suddenly snapped to attention. “No!” he said, and then softened his voice. “No, nothing like that. I would never… no.”

Rose nodded, reassured. “Then tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll get through it, yeah?”

The Doctor hesitated and then blurted, “Never mind. Of course you don’t want to go back. Did I mention that there’s coffee?”

“Wha—?” Rose managed. He couldn’t just _dump_ that on her and then take off. Oh, no. Without thinking about it, Rose did the only thing she could—she tackled him.

She landed on his right arm, but managed to pin the lower half of his body to the bed with her legs. Straightening, she dug her knees into his thighs and adjusted her grip, getting a hold of both his arms. She stared down at him, his eyes very wide.

“Rose?” His voice had gone up an octave. Good.

“Yeah?” she said.

He licked his lips. “Is there… um, something you want?”

Oh, was that ever a loaded question. She smiled beatifically and said, “You were gonna tell me something?”

He stared at her in incomprehension, a slightly dazed look in his eyes. Rose told herself not to get distracted. God, two years ago, if she had known forcibly tackling the Doctor was the key to getting them both naked… well, it could have made life loads simpler.

Focus, she reminded herself. Focus. She squeezed the Doctor’s upper-arms hard enough to hurt.

He yelped. “What was that for?” He jutted his chin out in a sulk, but at least he didn’t seem so dazed.

“You were going to tell me something,” she pressed. “Something you think might make me want to leave?”

She tried not to let her voice falter on the last bit. Of all the things she could imagine, her thoughts kept coming back to the same thing. He’d fallen in love with someone else. It made her feel sick to her stomach, but it didn’t mean he loved her any less, did it? And she _had_ been gone for years of his life. She could hardly expect him to sit around pining for her.

“It’s all right,” she said. “I’m not gonna leave. I promise.”

He looked at her with such gratitude; she almost forgot to breathe. He took her by the shoulders and gently nudged her back to her own side of the bed. Rose went, satisfied that he wouldn’t run off on her again.

They descended into silence. The Doctor began to study his shoes.

“Well, then?” Rose said.

He took a breath. “I did things. When you were gone.”

Instinct told Rose to approach this topic cautiously. Everything about the Doctor’s posture told her he didn’t want to talk about it.

She licked her lips, fingers playing with the edges of the covers. “What things?”

“There was this… this Family. They wanted to absorb the lives of the Time Lord. Not a particularly original plan, I’ll grant you, but bad enough.”

Rose made a noise of affirmation to cover up her confusion. It sounded like the sort of thing the Doctor faced on a regular basis.

“I hid from them,” the Doctor continued. “I turned human. Wiped all my memories and waited for them to die off.”

Rose stared at him. _He turned human?_ He wiped his memories and became a regular bloke? She tried to imagine it. The Doctor, sleeping in a house with doors and carpets and… and… using regular earth currency and buying groceries and—

Another thought struck her. “You hid? That doesn’t sound like you.”

He shook his head. “No.”

She waited for him to explain further. Finally, she shifted closer to him. “Then why?”

“I wanted… I thought it’d be best. Quick. Nobody had to get hurt.” He paused and then continued with difficulty. “But they found me. If it hadn’t been for Martha...”

He went back to staring at his shoes. Rose shifted closer to him, resting a hand on his arm. “Doctor?”

“I punished them.” He expelled a breath of air in a rush and turned to face her. “They’ll suffer for the rest of eternity. Because I wanted them to.”

Rose stared at him. She felt like someone had ripped of her blanket and dumped her with a bucket of ice water. Flashes of the past played in her mind. The Doctor, threatening that Dalek in Utah. The Doctor, taking down Harriet Jones.

 _Not falling in love, then_ , she thought, and almost smiled. But it wasn’t funny.

The Doctor watched her desperately, waiting for her to say something. For her to make it better, she realized. A lump caught in her throat.

“Do you regret it?”

Guilt flitted across his face, but he only said, “I don’t know.”

She opened her mouth to ask what they’d done… if they’d deserved it, but then thought better of it. It couldn’t be any worse than any of the things the Doctor had faced in the past.

His eyes dipped to rest on the space between their bodies. “That’s who I am.” He closed his mouth, struggled, and then looked back at her, “Isn’t it?”

Rose choked back a sob. Instead of answering, she closed the distance between them, pulling him into her arms. His body went limp, like he felt purged by his confession.

She pressed her lips to his forehead and he clutched at her, pressing his face to her neck. She shifted slightly and the Doctor tightened his grip as if he was afraid she might disappear. The lump came back into her throat. He’d thought she might leave. For a moment, she couldn’t see straight, but then she blinked back her tears.

“I don’t think you want to be that person.” Her voice sounded impossibly loud in the sudden quiet of the bedroom. She smoothed some hair away from his forehead and started again. “Doctor?”

He didn’t answer right away. Finally, he loosened his hold on her and eased back onto his side of the bed. “I thought… I thought if I was human, it wouldn’t come to that. I never should’ve…”

“Yeah,” Rose said, trying for a smile. “Bit of a daft plan. Genius like you…”

She trailed off. He wasn’t smiling; he looked like he was about to be sick.

“Well,” she said, trying to sound as calm as possible. She reached for his hand and then squeezed his fingers, giving him a cautious smile. “I’m here now, yeah?”

He squeezed her hand back. “Yeah.”

She ignored the small voice in the back of her head—the one that sounded suspiciously like her mother—that said she wouldn’t always be. She snuggled into his side, throwing one arm around his chest.

His arm curled around her shoulders and held her close. “I’m really glad you’re back.” She heard the unspoken words in his voice. _I love you. Don’t leave me._

She nodded. “You can tell me, you know? Whatever it is that happened while I was gone.”

“Yeah,” he said, but he wasn’t immediately forthcoming about anything else.

“Who was it you mentioned before?” she began. “The Master, you said?”

He stiffened. “Rose—”

She hugged him tighter so that he couldn’t put distance between them. “Sounds sort of like a Time Lord name to me. Who was he, Doctor?”

The Doctor sighed and skimmed his fingers over her arm, pressing his cheek to the top of her head. “Good guess,” he said. He pointedly refrained from adding anything else.

Rose didn’t push him. She suspected he’d already shared far more than he wanted to. So she draped herself more fully across him and made a show of snuggling down.

The lightness came back into his voice. “Comfy?”

“Yeah,” she said. He didn’t exactly make a great pillow, being all skinny and bony like he was, but there was nowhere else in the universe she’d rather be. “Stay here? With me?”

“I’d like that.” He paused and hesitated before saying, “And what about you? You couldn’t have spent all that time in your world trying to get back here.”

Rose buried her nose into his shoulder and clutched him closer. She began to grasp why he didn’t want to tell her everything that happened to him. She wasn’t ashamed of her life on her other earth, but she changed. She knew how to fire a gun. She’d killed. She’d watched members of her team get killed in front of her.

The Doctor continued, “You left your family behind.”

Rose nodded into his shoulder, and then turned her head so she was speaking to his chin. “I made a choice, Doctor. It was mine to make. Not anybody else’s.”

His fingers drew steady patterns across her back. “You’ll miss them.”

“Yeah, I will,” Rose said and her voice caught. “But you’ll be here when I do, won’t you?”

He took a long moment before answering. “Yes.”

That was it, then. That was everything she needed from him. She could make out the steady thumping of his hearts against her arm, and she let her eyes drift shut.


End file.
